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William Singalargh, 27, faces up to five years in prison for assault with a deadly weapon. More specifically, he threw a deadly weapon some 16 or so feet at a 15 year-old boy. Even MORE specifically, the deadly weapon was a hedgehog. And the deadly weapon, though not deadly to the target, proved deadly to the weapon itself. The hedgehog was pronounced dead on the scene.

Dr. Ivo Robotnik was called in for questioning by NL Federal Police but later released.

Full Story Here…

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In a boarding house in Prince George’s County in the Washington, D.C. area, a young Master Stamp, a 12-year-old boy (not pictured) who lives with his mother, Cheryl, does what many boys his age do on a daily basis – burn through their homework as quickly as possible before, as many US Senators have described, “corrupting their young minds with violent imagery spoon-fed by the video game industry.”

But the artfully sound-designed cacophony of his virtual pursuit was disturbed by a ruckus in the other room. Pausing the game, he went to investigate and found a 64 year-old dude named Salomon Noubissie choking the isht out of his mom.

Springing into action, the plucky Stamp mentally pressed Y to “pick up item” – a carving knife – simultaneously pushed down LT & RT to activate targeting and then popped the X button, slashing the carotid artery of his mothers’ attacker.

Parents, get your kids an XBOX, Wii or PS3 post-haste. It’s cheaper than a guard dog and it’ll get them thinking vocationally.

Kids, thank us later.

Full Story Here…

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Somebody has a whole lot of extra time and a whole lot of extra awesome just oozing out of their blue-tinted pores. They built this tower of radness to house their many media systems. You could, in theory, put whatever systems/devices you wanted to in this. The maker, though, has stylishly chosen to load it with DVD player, a cable box, a PS3, an XBox 360, a Wii, a normal XBox, and a TiVo unit. Up the side are all the controllers and headsets for everything. Not pictured is your inevitably sputtering social life digitally contrasted with your soaring XBOX 360 achievement stats.

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Denmark is so awesome. At IT University of Copenhagen, they threw themselves a theme party the likes of which we’ve never seen: It’s-a-Mario-Bar! They made foam representations of awesome stuff like stars, coin boxes and mushrooms. Then they made all these rad Mario-themed drinks. Don’t worry, American friends, the conversion from centiliters (represented as cl) to shots is on the site.

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Novint has come out with a controller that doesn’t look fun in the least – it looks like something one might see at a gynecological exam – but it totally fun*.

It’s a controller with a pistol grip for first person shooters that gives force feedback in three dimensions. If you get shot in the right temporal lobe, you jerk to the left (kinda) like in real life. The difference, of course, being that you don’t suffer brain damage, and you’re still able to strafe right to frag the alien that shot you.

*We realize that some readers believe gynecological exams to be the apex of fun, but we urge those readers to realize for their own social welfare that the majority of the population does not.

There are two great things about this video. The first is the possibilities that this technology has for gaming – in particular, first person shooters. You’ll be able to actually duck behind rocks and walls. That’s pretty real. It won’t be long until gamers are using live rounds to slaughter demons on a day-to-day basis.

The second awesome part, of course, is how staggeringly dorky the dude who invented this technology is. Note especially the 3:50 staredown.

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In a study done at Stanford, they found that men’s brains are wired to respond more positively to video games than women’s. We feel rewarded by them, and are more likely to become addicts as a result.

The numbers suggested more brain activity in the males corresponding to greater success in the given video game, one scientist offered speculation, though, as to the cultural roots behind the numbers.

"I think it's fair to say that males tend to be more intrinsically territorial," he said. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out who historically are the conquerors and tyrants of our species — they're the males."

Command and Conquer DOES rock. Maybe there's something to this.

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There's now a caffeinated Snickers.

If you don’t have enough energy drinks, and your caffeinated shower didn’t fire you up enough – if you just can’t pop enough pills to get your katamari ball as big as you like, then here’s the next step in game fuel for you. Here’s what the candyblog says:

Honestly, it’s a great value as an edible dose of caffeine goes. A candy bar is usually about 75 cents at a convenience store. A cup of coffee is usually $1.25 and a soda is $1.00 ... you might be able to get an energy drink for about $2.00. (Let’s not even go into the caffeine, calories & price of those blended coffee drinks.)

We at Ripe completely support this new tier in gaming nutrition with one exception. There is a chance that this sort of fat/sugar/caffeine bomb will entrench this kind of behavior.

An employee here at Ripe was absolutely blessed by the Big Man (Santa) this year and he received an xbox 360 and Rock Band*.

This man was left in a dilemma. Does he take the Rock Band to his irresponsible friends for an estimated 2 months of rocking before they break something? Or, does he return Rock Band and purchase something more useful like a giant televison, or 20 bottles of hard liquor? These are the weighty questions on our shoulders.

In a pool of his own tears, he tore at his skin until, on Christmas Night, he watched this video.

ANYWAY, the long and the short of it is: he’s keeping the game. And the message to y’all, dear readers, is to “let it all hang out, baby.” Certainly the game will be broken and there is an 80% chance that one of this gentleman’s friends will sustain permenant physical injury. But, it’s the holidays for goodness sake. Rock.

Link.

*If you’re unaware of the faux-rock phenomena, there is an emerging culture of gamers that pretend to be rock stars. They use video games to emulate their rock n roll heros onscreen. Here’s one gamer’s take on this phenomena as filtered through the Christmas spirit.

But it here.

What a deliciously decadent idea. What does every arcade game up until this crucial crossroads of history lack? The answer, as you well know, is a frosty keg of your favorite brew.

Under the two-player console is a keg-sized refrigerator with a tap that emerges in between the two joysticks. Beautiful.

If you’re not into the classics, never fear. The Gamerator can be easily adapted to contemporary systems like your Wii or XBOX 360.

While this does seem like a flawless mating of booze and video games at first blush, there is a single chink in the armor. With an entire keg at our command, the inevitable goal of killing it combined with the flashes of video gaming in front of us would almost certainly induce seizure.

Worth it.

Buy it up

The Wii sword is an attachment to the standard Wii controller that runs on a few AA batteries and lights up like a totally sweet light saber. Woot!

Now you can identify even more closely with the boy-warrior Link and extricate yourself from any real, live interaction with a real, live girl*.

No longer will the land of Hyrule exist solely in your imagination. And no longer will you pay adequate attention to personal hygiene. Arm yourself!

*A girl is what Princess Zelda is. They look better than you. Prettier. Your mom is (kind of) one.

Seen above, The Internet Machine

With the vast and powerful internet at your beck and call...with the ability to see anything you want, anywhere, at anytime...with entire catalogues of free online courses from Ivy League institutes....we can't think of anything better than this. Mmm. Goosebumps.

Mmm. Technology feeds our obsessive compulsive disorder. There was a time when you had to buy a refrigerator or something similarly expensive to get your fair share of bubble paper.

Now, thanks to The Internet Machine, we can pop bubbles all day long. Check out this addictive/inane site, then finish this blog 4 hours later.

Welcome back. Now, when you leave your computer, the fun doesn’t have to stop with this permanent bubble popping box!

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No? Yeah, I’m not surprised. But in it, you played video games with this organic controller on the console of your mind! It was so real that injuries sustained within the game actually occurred to the user in real life. People in the film got addicted to it and lived in the game world full time.

Sound much like World of Warcraft? Agreed. As of now, playing WoW will not actually rend your skull with an axe at the hand of a might orc warrior. But, it might kill you in a less-cool way.

A man in Beijing recently died of exhaustion after playing online video games for three straight days. He just collapsed in an internet café and died. Paramedics came but they couldn’t bring him back.

How does that happen? I can’t get through 100 pages of Harry Potter without a cat nap. Whatever online game this dude was playing must be more addictive than crack cause even crack heads take napper snappers.

Here’s a question, does this guy deserve to be anything but the subject of a joke or a snarky blog?

Master chief jumping a quad through a veil of tears

I just watched a trailer for Bungie’s Halo 3, and it was beyond surreal. It starts with a live action, live human walking toward a diorama of Halo characters posed in battle. The VO is of the elderly man and a younger guy who turns out to be interviewing him.

Then, it becomes immediately clear that the interviewer is asking the older man about his (fake) experiences in the (fake) war he was involved in under the direction of Master Chief (main character of the Halo franchise).

He’s relating his experiences and while choking back tears relates that he and his battalion maintained hope because they knew that Master Chief was “still in the fight.”

Am I the only one weirded out by this? What happened to the Doom-era days when killing aliens was fun because it was unemotional. If I wanted to cry, I’d watch and re-watch Foxfire starring a young Angelina Jolie…but maybe that’s an over share.

The video for Halo is here