Ripe TV

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Los Angeles is full of fat. You might not know that from the images Hollywood pumps out of chest bone-cleavage galore and ludicrous body standards on anybody within fourteen miles of normal.

But, oh yes, LA can get down with the chow-down. SoCal has the largest number of donut shops per capita in the US. And fast food pretty much started here, too.

Really, LA is all about excess. And the latest entrant to excess is found at Neo-diner The Waffle. And they’ve got a “secret menu” sandwich called “The Double-Wide,” that is making us moisten our keyboard even as we type this with our drool.

The bread: Applewood-smoked bacon waffles.

The meat: fried chicken.

Then add: lettuce, tomato, red onion.

Serve with: Maple Syrup, Country White Gravy

And they serve this across the street from Nickelodeon Studios. So if Miley Cyrus starts packing on some womanly curves, you know who to blame.

Or thank.

p.s. This is a scratch-and-sniff post. Scratch the double-wide and…innnnnhhhaaaaaallllleeeee.

p.p.s. Seriously? Now your screen is all smudged.

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TMZ is reporting that star of The Hills, Lauren Conrad has been offered a VIP party from KFC for her and her friends.

In an open letter to LC, the chicken chain says they want to welcome Lauren to the new neighborhood, which is "down the street from one of our restaurants," by giving a VIP party for her and her friends. Sorry, Heidi -- only natural breast meat available!

This will be a good move for Lauren Conrad. We’ve never watched The Hills because the liters of testosterone churning in our veins disallowed it, but people say it’s fake. And, what could be more down-home genuine than KFC? Additionally, KFC is so totally in right now. Just ask man about town and arbiter of class, Flava Flav.