Ripe TV

Source
Today, April 7th, is the 75th Anniversary of Beer’s triumphant return to the U.S. palate.

In 1933, Prohibition was on its last teetotaling legs as FDR assumed the presidency and, thanks to the Cullen-Harrison Act, beer became legal again at the stroke of midnight, “New Beers Eve.” It wasn’t powerful stuff – 3.2 alcohol – but it was, for the first time in 14 years, legal beer.

In gratitude, we've gone on to make Budweiser the number one consumed beer (both nationally and internationally), proving that whoever said "we didn’t deserve to drink beer" was right. So today, we can celebrate the 75th anniversary of the return of beer and the 75th anniversary of our not deserving it since all we do is drink the Shasta of suds.

Full Story Here…

Source

There’s been a spike of rock memoirs published lately, and that is just awesome. Because, in fact, rock n roll is awesome. There is a small feeling of nostalgia, a whisper of melancholy because memoirs mean that our rock gods are getting old, getting clean, and getting boring.

Thankfully, Nikki Sixx is a rock demigod not a rock idol and is able to reach back through his drug-addled memories to give us a taste of the old days. If you haven’t read “Motley Crue: the Dirt” or “Heroin Diaries,” you should. Here’s a tidbit from a Daily News interview that is illustrative of the type of sh*t in just about every paragraph on every page.

Junkies die – but we don't always stay dead. We're like zombies or cats. We have multiple lives. It's considered to be dying when you start to turn purple.
When your heart stops and restarts you feel the worst pain in the world. The body goes, "OK, I'm done." Everything is shut off. Then when you reboot it's like, "What the...?"

Yeah man, every time somebody in our offices is clinically dead and then we stick a few feet of Christmas lights in their throat to jump start ‘em, that’s what they say, “Jeez…what the heck was that all about?” Then, they usually ask for a Diet Coke.

Source

In the iconic fashion magazine “W,” Hillary Swank was interviewed about her, as the cover puts it, “extreme health regimen.” It turns out that means pumping herself full of as many supplements as the CVS will sell her.

In an interview with US style bible W, Miss Swank, 33, talked through the array of pills she takes on a daily basis.
She explained: "This is my Aloe C, which I dissolve in water.
"Here's my flax. This one's for my immune system, and this one is my BrainWave - it's great, like if I have a lot of lines to memorise."
She added: "I just took my most important ones, which are my Oz Garcia Longevity Pak.

If you added rat poison to all the sh*t she’s putting in her body you’d for sure get meth. The fun part to think about is this: With all those supplements, she definitely pees out the majority of the things she’s putting in herself. That being said, it’s our hypothesis that her pee looks like glittery fairy magic.

This is not a post directed at Amy Winehouse. This is a post directed at you, reader, regarding Amy Winehouse.

When she wandered out into the streets mosts bloggers (including Ripe) assumed she was doped out of her beehive. And we were half right. She was doped, but she was sober enough to buy ice pops which is more than one can say for a few Ripers on the weekends.

And further, she (along with Kanye) are likely to lead the pack in grammy nominations tomorrow.

But, and this is likely the most important, there is a gross underreporting of how huge her cans are. Note the picture below.

Source

Former porn icon and boob-deflating terrorist, Jenna Jameson is sticking her fingers into a new venture: slinging booze.

She and her friend Richie Rich (he’s the Heatherette designer that put ugly clothes on her shriveled form a bit back) have decided to open a bar together in NY Chinatown.

"It used to be a whorehouse," Richie told Page Six. The bar, to be called The General Store, will have a store in front where the duo will sell Richie's designs and clothing picked by Jameson.

We’re 50/50 on this one. A former brothel bar is something we’re almost always down for. Put a porn queen at the helm and that blasts frosting, in arcing ropes, all over the cake.

But Richie Rich shilling his glittery duds in the back room. Dubious. Very dubious.

Source

Lohan is, as AC/DC so eloquently put it, “back in the saddle again!” She's boozing! She’s finally attaching her pouty, if overly-social, lips to the end of a long, smooth bottle.

"She has been drinking a little bit," a pal tells us. "Over her week in New York, she did have a few drinks."
A separate source tells us that she had at least one big fight with her Utah beau, Riley Giles, who joined the Lohan family for the holiday.

All good news. And even better: in the tradition of Hunter Thompson, Hemingway, and probably a lot more people annoying users will quote in the comment section – she’s using booze to fuel her creativity!

Outside of the inevitable crotch shots and nip slips – beyond the incoherent, rambling emails and sluttitudes – she’s using “dancing juice” as we like to call it to help her create a new studio album!

Source

And she does it the old fashioned way – fighting and snorting coke. Now that, friends, is an American Idol if we’ve ever seen one.

The former top 10 contender in the popular reality competition was arrested April 29th and sentenced on felony battery charges yesterday. She threw a cocktail glass at some chick in a bar and when they searched her, found the drugs.

It all just goes to show: if you can dream it, you can do it. As long as “it” is screwing up some girl and/or unadulterated street drugs.

Source

A woman was injured recently in a Cirque de Soleil "Zumanity" performance when she fell 15 feet to the stage near the end of the show.

Everything in Cirque de Soleil is wet, and gay, and French, and on fire all at the same time. – Patton Oswalt

What do you expect when your job is to fly through the air naked on “aerial silks?”

Grudging respect, though, must be offered. The woman fell from a big drape 15 feet above the stage and isn’t dead. That’s a tough, wet, gay, French, burning broad. We have a hard time playing more than 3 Guitar Hero songs in a row without getting hand cramps.

Cirque De Soleil In Las Vegas - Click here for more amazing videos

Amy Winehouse, in a concert in the UK, did some coke on stage. A lot of media sources are reporting this as “alleged,” but there is no doubt that she was ingesting some manner of controlled substance in this video because…

she’s Amy-effing-Winehouse!

We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: when she does something shocking, like resign from music to play professional ping pong, we’ll take some interest.

Source

Duran Duran is still alive. Blew our minds. And they’re remarkably unchanged. They sing the same and look the same with just slightly less poofy (cool) hair.

Anyway, with their time on this Earth (which MUST be dwindling) they’ve made a new music video with Justin Timberlake on backup vocals about a crazy chick who’s blond and whiny and goes to rehab, then fails to get better.

Kind of like this lovely lady.

Or, more likely, her. Since the chick in the video looks precisely like her.

If Justin and the boys really wanted to get through to Britney Spears, a music video (even an obvious one) is not the way to do it. They’re going to need crayons, Raffi, and a whole lot of treats to get and keep her attention.

Source

How does the Butterscotch Stallion do it? He makes pretentious, boring Wes Anderson movies. He tries to kill himself. He struts about with a nose that looks like it was modeled out of Play Doh by a disabled 2nd grader.

That bastard is dating another model. Another one. Like a week after he was with Jessica Simpson. What a selfish prig. This one is even exotically named Le Call!

Owen Wilson, your end is near. We will slay you and eat your soul, thus gaining your mysterious, dark powers to be used for our own. ;)

Source

Amy’s enabler, husband Blake Fielder-Civil is being thrown in the huscow. But (How did this happen?) not because of anything related to drugs.

First, he beat the hell out of some bartender. Then, in the resultant trial, he offered to pay one of the witnesses almost half a million dollars to alter their testimony.

Where does he get that kind of money? How on Earth is he not in jail for being 40% heroin at all times? Well, whatever. At least he’s locked up. Maybe, now, Amy will be amazing like this:

Prediction: this generation will witness the untimely death of Amy Winehouse. And by that we mean we’ll actually be watching when her heart stops on stage.

This video of Amy at the European MTV Music Awards is staggering (kind of like her) and she doesn’t seem human anymore - much more like a hairless wookie.

One of the aftershocks of this debacle is Amy’s dad, Mitch calling for the imprisonment of her husband Blake. With his name tattooed over Amy’s heart it seems unlikely, but so does being a multimillionaire pop star who can’t articulate a single word of her own song at an award show where she wins “Artist of the Year.” Crazy ol’ world, isn’t it?

Britney shown here for easy comparison to Plain Jane

It is true, as 96% of pop culture aficionados have been espousing on their b/vlogs, that Britney’s comeback performance was less than she’d hoped for. She was crying backstage, etc, etc. Everybody knows the whole story.

But here’s the thing, if I saw Momma Spears walking down the street I would probably still think impure thoughts. And I’m an online ordained minister, so that’s saying something.

She did have two kids. And she’s maybe one in a thousand single moms with two kids who has the confidence/ability to fit into that sparkly whore’s garb. Bless her. She’s a role (with butter, not margarine) model.

She’s also worth 100,000 times more than you or I can even wrap our civilian minds around.

And can you even imagine the coke-fueled, angst-driven wild animal she must be between the sheets? Cause I can. And do. She’s got to work out her issues somewhere, and she’s no hair on her body left to shave.

Call me romantic, but Britney, when all the world has turned their backs on you I’m still here. Drop me an email. I’ll take you and the kids to Wendy’s and we can work it all out.